Counseling

I guess I need it.   I was urged by my sister to seek grief counseling.  She attributes my hardship to losing my aunt.  I think there may be something to it.  Or it may be something else, who knows. This last week I have felt sad inside, I don’t know why.  And I haven’t been […]

Finally

I started taking the Trazodone 2 weeks ago.  Much later than I should have.  Weighing in right now, the doc said it could take anywhere from 2 weeks to a month to feel them working. I can tell my quality of sleep has improved.  I was supposed to stop drinking while taking the meds.  And […]

Heavy

Pride is something that isn’t given up easily. Pride is something of a trophy. Pride can put you in a bad place. I am at an impasse.  I have put myself there. I have so may hopes and dreams.  I have ideas of how to be the handyman of a dilapidated home.  I have plans […]

Excuses

We’ve all made them. But, at some point in our lives, we gotta own up to our own bullshit. I’ve got a lot of bullshit.  And when asked for explanations, it’s best to pony up and flat out accept the outcome of your fuckery.  Lame excuses never worked.  What ripe old age do you have […]

Trazodone

It had to be done. It’s been a long time coming and there is just no denying the white elephant everyone wants to ignore, staring them in the face. My aunt always said, “You have to be willing to help yourself first.  You can’t get the help you need unless you really want it.” Off […]

Games

I am sure it has been seen:  What 3 fictional characters describe you? I would like to think I should have chosen some fancy-free, fun characters.  Some people describe me as such. But maybe I took it a little darker than it needed to be.  Or did I? I think most folks are their own […]

Balls

So many times we have had to reprimand Andy for playing in the shower. At 13 I can only assume the long showers are related to changes in hormones and self exploration. Before now, I would find little slits in the shower curtain because he thought the razor in the shower was a bathroom toy.  […]

Depersonalization

This can’t possibly be my life can it? It is, it is. Sometimes when it rains it pours.  And though I have a few positive things to blog about there has been a whole bunch of crap happening lately. My German exchange student returned to his home country.  I got to meet his parents.  They […]

Closure

This weekend I drove out to Bakersfield for Cory’s funeral service.  It was a very long, dreary, desolate drive from the coast but I felt I had to go.  I needed the closure and I wanted to share some photographs with Cory’s mother, whom I’d only met once close to 10 years ago. Shortly after […]

Changes

First and foremost, Andy has announced he has started puberty.  It was an abrupt revelation which we kinda figured it was getting about that time.  He turns 13 in August, my nephew that is the same age already has his voice changing.  After a few months of battling the lying and stealing it looks like […]