“A house divided against itself cannot stand”
I suppose you can attribute that one to Lincoln or Mark depending on what your persuasion is.
All of this cancer stuff has really started to take a toll on my family. And it has caused a division among us all. And I am kind of tired of it all.
I don’t want to stay away from my family but I have found myself “busy” more often than not these days. Yeah, I am in the midst of planning my vacation later this year. But I am actually avoiding going to my mom’s house. It’s not intentional but I noticed it has been well over two weeks.
I am kind of tired of hearing all the fighting, side taking and people just talking with out taking action.
This coming weekend my sister and I are taking my other sister, mom and aunt to a Motown the Musical down at the Pantages. I love hanging out with my sisters, my mom and aunt but I really hate the prospect of small talk to avoid the elephant in the room.
And I don’t want it to turn into a several hour drive to and from filled with shop talk. I would much prefer silence than whining about work or small talk. Am I being mean? Probably.
I just want life to go back to the way it was. I want my sandbox to put my head in.
Invariably the conversation will turn back to the “Negative Nancy” and her drama. Maybe I will just zone out, drive and not contribute to any of the conversations at all. I am gonna come off as a jerk.
I can’t fake it, I am tired and unwilling to fake it.
Eh who am I kidding, I am gonna sit there, fake it and have small talk. I’m the queen of fake happy, I already know. It’s just so tiring and I just want to be elbow deep in clay, hiking or in my pyjamas watching a K-Drama.
At this moment in life my HUGE family, which is small by demographic standards is smothering me.